Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Medical Student I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat…
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Four men were enlisted into the military in World War 2. Three were very religious men, and the other was a lawyer who didn’t want to die. On the night before a large battle, the lawyer went to the others and said,”When the first shot flies, get down on your knees in prayer, and the lord will protect thee throughout the day.” The others thought it was a good idea, and would be an excellent test of their faith. The…
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Morris walked into an insurance office and asked for a job. “We don’t need anyone,” they replied. “You can’t afford NOT to hire me. I can sell anyone anything, any time!” “Well, we have two prospects that NO ONE has been able to sell to. If you can sell to just one, you have a job.” He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000. “How in the world…
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A lady was exercising her dog in the park. A scumbag on a bicycle came up behind her and grabbed the carrier bag from her hand. Pedaling furiously into the distance with his prize, he was not aware of the lady rolling on the grass in fits of laughter. Like the good citizen that she was, she had been using the plastic bag to collect her dog’s poop.
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One day, while President Clinton was at “work” in the oval office, a secret service agent comes in and says, “Mister Clinton , I’ve got bad news, good news, and worse news. The bad news is there is a protest outside for your resignation as president, the good news is there’s only one protester.” Clinton replies, “So what’s the really bad news?” The agent says, “It’s Gore sir.”
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A young lady had just visited her doctor, and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share her good news with someone. The farmer sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. “Sir,” she said, “I just received the best news…
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A Frenchman, an Italian and an American are heading off to war when the Frenchman bragged that he made love to his wife 3 times last night to say goodbye. “Yeah, well I made love to my wife 6 times last night to say goodbye to her,” the Italian boasted. “What about you, Mr. American?” asked the Frenchman. “I only made love to my wife once last night.” “Is that all? What did she say this morning ?” “Don’t stop!”
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One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem — my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hat pin with you. I’ll be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in…
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An old fellow was snoozing away, contentedly, when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman. “Oh, my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed. “I’m at the wrong house.” “Sweetheart, you’re at the right house, the old guy assured her. “But you’re forty years too late!”
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There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard the fishing was really good up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was nicely frozen over. They went to this bait shop to get the tackle they would need. One of them said, “Oh, and we’re gonna need an ice pick, too.” So they got that and took off. In about two hours, one of…
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