Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning, with beer on your breath, and lipstick on your collar?” “There is,” he replied. “I’d like some breakfast.”
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Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer? A. The joystick is wet. Q. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it the looser it gets. Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? A. A brain tumor. Q. What is a blondes cheer? A. “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N…. oh well, I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea, yea, yea! Q. Why do…
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Old mc donald sitting on a fence Beating his dick with a monkey wrench Missed his dick and hit his balls Now he has shit in his overalls Ran inside so good damn fast Got his granny up the ass Granny said god bless your soul But get your dick out of my asshole
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These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
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Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
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I know I haven’t known you very long, and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t’ had it for a while going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. and I’d be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now, that I have a…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.…
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One day there was a guy sitting in a bar. He kept asking for small shots of vodka, and every time he drank one he would look in his pocket. So of course he asked the bartender for another vodka. The bartender did not think much of it at first when he looked in his pocket again. Then guy asked for two more vodkas and then looked in his pocket, the bartender started to get a little suspicious. Then he…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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“Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time.” “Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes — Use Birth Control” “My Designated Driver Drove Me to Drink” (Over a sketch of the Titanic) “The Boat Sank. Get Over It” “I Didn’t Drive My Husband Crazy — I Flew Him There — It Was Faster” “Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups” “Aunt Em: Hate You. Hate Kansas. Taking the Dog. Dorothy” “MEN: No Shirts,…
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