Goo Jokes - page 25

Shoot for the Moon

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr.Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was…

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Liver and Cheese

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a great-looking Golden Retriever female comes up to them and says, “Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me.” So the Doberman says, “I love liver and cheese.” The Golden Retriever says, “That’s not good enough.” The Bulldog says, “I hate liver and cheese.” The Golden Retriever says, “That’s not creative enough.” Finally, the Chihuahua says, “Liver alone…..cheese…

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Men at Work

For the last 15 years Phil and Dave have car-pooled together and had lunch together and never have missed a day. One day Dave was waiting outside on the bench for Phil for lunch and Phil nevers shows up. This was not a good sign but Dave said he would wait until after work because maybe something had come up at the last minute. So after work Dave met Phil at the car and asked him, “Where were you today…

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This Crazy English Language

The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…

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Little Johnny at school

A primary school teacher decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put up their hands if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked. Cindie put her hand up and said “Moooo!” “Very good,” replied the teacher, “What sound do sheep make?” “Baaa,” answered Jimmy She continues like this for a while. Then she asked, “What sound does a pig make?”…

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A New Italian Opera!

CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…

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Come join the party Father Celestain

(this joke is written and told by a true COON-ASS so if you can spoke like a true CAJUN you guna like dis one real good. (DONT WORRY ABOUT THE SPELLING!!!) ONE TIME, FATHER THIBODEAUX WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HIS TALK AT HIS CHURCH. HIS CHURCH IS USUALLY FULL, HOWEVER, DIS TIME, THERE WAS ONLY TWO OLD WOMEN IN THE PEWS. FATHER THIBODEAUX TOLD THE TWO OLD LADIES TO HOLD ON, HE WAS COMING RIGHT BACK. FATHER THIBODEAUX WENT…

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Hiss and Pop

Hiss & POPA guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of thenipple.” Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes…

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french chef

Once there was a rich man that had a wife that hated to cook. She ask her old man if she could have a chef. He told wife ok and hired a french chef. Everything he cooked was awful. The man complained to his wife but she said to give him a little more time. Mad about everything being bad, he went home to fire the chef. When he got home he found the chef giving his wife oral sex.…

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