Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
WHERE THE DOG AND CAT CAME FROM A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.” And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be…
(0)
Loading...
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…
(2)Loading...
Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
(2)Loading...
A guy by the name of George died and found himself waiting to be let into Heaven. As George stepped up the gates Saint Peter asked him his name. George answered and Saint Peter ran his finger down the list. “I’m sorry, you’re not on the list. I’m afraid I can’t let you in.” “There must be some mistake. I’ve lived a very decent life on Earth. The only thing that I’ve done wrong was cuss the other day on…
(0)Loading...
These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
(1)Loading...
A middle aged woman is on the operating table for bypass surgery when she has a near-death experience. She is floating above the room and sees God. “Excuse me, God,” she says, “Is this the end?” “Oh no, my dear,” says God. “You have another forty years to live.” When she recovers, she decides to remain in the hospital for a complete makeover, knowing she’s going to be around for another forty years. She gets a face-lift, liposuction, tummy tuck,…
(0)Loading...
SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
(1)Loading...
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if–” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that…
(0)Loading...
A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
(2)Loading...
Four men were enlisted into the military in World War 2. Three were very religious men, and the other was a lawyer who didn’t want to die. On the night before a large battle, the lawyer went to the others and said,”When the first shot flies, get down on your knees in prayer, and the lord will protect thee throughout the day.” The others thought it was a good idea, and would be an excellent test of their faith. The…
(0)Loading...