Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…
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Each morning, a self-righteous, nosy cab driver would drive a man to his place of employment and would later return to drive the man’s wife to her place of employment…a brothel. During a conversation one morning with the man, the nosy cab driver smugly stated, “I don’t mean to be prying, but did you know that each morning after dropping you off at work, I return and take your wife and drop her off at a brothel where she works?”…
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On the Valentine’s Day before the birth of our first child, I brought a flowering plant home to my wife. “They’re Mums,” I told her, pleased with my pun. Since it was already a week past her due date, my wife quipped, “You should have gotten Impatiens.”
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Judi was driving home one night when she was caught in a bad hail storm. The stones were as big as golf balls. Her car was dented pretty bad. Balking at the price to fix it, Judi was told by the repair shop guy, a smartass by trade, (noticing her bright blonde hair) to blow into the tailpipe REAL HARD when she got home, the dents would pop out. When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe,…
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One day there was a woman waiting for her husband to come home from work. When he got home she said, “Listen, I need you to fix the stairs, they are creaking again.” Her husband replied, “Look, I had a hard day at work all I want is to have a beer and go to bed. Does it look like I have carpenter written across my forehead?” So he had his beer and went to bed. The next day when…
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One day a Jewish son came home from college and told his dad that he had converted to Christianity. His father went to his Rabbi and said, “My son went away for awhile and came back a Christian. What shall I do?” The Rabbi said in reply, “Well, you see, the same thing happened to my son. We shall pray to God and ask what we should do.” So the man and the Rabbi prayed to God. “God, our sons…
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Dad came home one afternoon to find his young son in the middle of the floor with a pencil and paper. “What are you doing, son?” dad asked. Jr. replied, “I am figuring my debts up.” “That’s good son, and what do you think you owe?” Jr. answered, “I figure I owe mom for nine months carrying charge and at least a 2 year milk bill” “Jr., that’s great, now what do you figure you owe me?” Son thought for…
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1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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Danny McGuire came home from work to find his lovely bride sitting in the living room still in her bathrobe. “Kate, my wife,” he says, “whatever is the matter? Yer still in yer robe.” “Ah Danny,” says she, “tis poorly I’m feeling. I didn’t know what to do so I called Doc McDonald. ‘I’ll need a specimen,’ he says and hung up. Danny, I don’t know what a specimen is.” “Ah lass, I don’t know either, but if you high…
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