Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights–dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant. Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door’s edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the…
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An old golfer was starting to have a very hard time during his game. Since he was 85, it was not unusual that his eyesight was not what it used to be. He would drive the ball quite well, but even though he wore eyeglasses he could not see where the ball would go. Hoping to solve the problem, he asked his older brother, who still had excellent eyesight, for some help. So they both went out on the course…
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1)Yo mama’s lips are so big, Chapstick had to make an aerosol. 2)Yo mama is sooo fat, her high school Sr picture was taken from a blimp. 3)Yo mama is soo fat, she got more chins than China town. 4)Yo mama’s so fat, you can’t even see her legs……it just looks like she is glidin across the floor. 5)Yo mama’s soooo fat, when she goes to check the mail….it measures on the rector scale. 6)Yo mama ain’t got any back,…
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Little Johnny’s next door neighbors had recently had a baby. Due to complications, the baby was born without ears. Little Johnny’s parents decided to go and see the new baby one day. Johnny’s father explained to him about the baby and told Johnny not to make the slightest hint about the baby’s ears. Johnny agreed and said that he would be on his best behavior and say nothing about the baby’s ears. Johnny and his family went to the baby’s…
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A cardiologist came up with a new operating procedure that would cut down the time that heart surgery would take and would cause less trauma to the patient. He was praised by his peers when he presented it at a convention in Washington D.C. He was also paid $50,000 to present his find. He did a couple more of these presentations and realized that it would be more lucrative to do lectures on his find than to work as a…
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B.B. King and his beautiful wife celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. At night’s end, Mrs. King had a most special gift to express her undying loyalty to him. (she had B.B.’s initials tattooed to her behind, one B on each cheek) After they retired for the night, she bent over to show him the unexpected surprise. B.B. put on his glasses and said, “Who the Hell is BOB” ?
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This is supposedly a TRUE story: On a San Francisco to LA shuttle flight, there was a 45 minute delay and all on-board passengers were “ticked”. Without warning, the plane made a stop in Sacramento. A flight attendant informed the passengers of the delay, and invited folks to exit the aircraft if they wished, advising that they should return in 30 minutes. All exited, except for one man who was blind and traveling with his guide dog, who was resting…
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SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered. CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report! NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music. CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep! NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.” CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured? NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction. CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on. NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness… darkness… Wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.…
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of…
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16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…
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