Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar. He didn?t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one. ?I sure do,? he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter. ?Wow!? said his friend, ?where did you get that monster?? ?I got it from my genie.? ?You have a genie?? he asked ?Yes, he?s right here in my golf bag.? He opens his golf bag and…
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December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
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ONE- Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright. TWO- If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don’t try to subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim. THREE- Quit blowing smoke up women’s asses about the sanctity and power they possess as life-givers and come up with some decent affordable child care. That way, maybe poor single mothers can go to work and get off welfare, and we won’t have to listen to any more…
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Be on the lookout for the following personalities last seen cruising in these automobiles… A Pyromaniac in a Blazer… A barber in a Seville… A seamstress in a Dart… An insurance adjuster in an Acclaim… A construction worker in a Bobcat… A creature in a black Laguna… A theater manager in a Marquis… An astronomer in an Eclipse… An exterminator in a Beetle… A spiritualist in an Aurora… An orator in a Civic… A country singer in a blue Neon……
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Two beggars are sitting on a park bench in Mexico City. One is holding a cross and one a Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. People walk by, lift their noses at the man with the Star of David and drop money in the hat held by the man with the cross. Soon, the hat of the man with the cross is filled and the hat of the man with the Star of David is empty.…
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Mr. and Mrs. Smith have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Smith comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office to their home for dinner on Friday night. Mrs. Smith is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for four. The husband explains that there will actually be eight coming since each will be bringing his wife. Since this is their first party,…
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A woman’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she carefully eases it over onto the shoulder, steps out of the car, and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle, where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in the history of this highway occurs. It’s not very long before a…
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What do you get when you put Monica Lewinsky and Tonto in a car together? A blown engine.
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Top Ten Signs You’ve Bought A Bootleged Copy of Titanic… 10. Instead of Leonardo DiCaprio, it’s some guy named “Leocarpo Dinardio.” 9. Movie ends; boat doesn’t sink. 8. You’re pretty sure the original version didn’t include a guy smoking weed in the front row. 7. Since when did Celine Dion’s theme song begin with “Love…exciting and new…” 6. It’s rated X, and the first three letters of the title are suspiciously capitalized. 5. Stella won’t get into a lifeboat without…
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