Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. “Don’t worry, lady ,” he said. “I’ll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping.” Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher’s voice boom over the public-address system: “Will…
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A man complains to a friend “I can’t take it anymore.” “What’s wrong?” his concerned friend asks. “It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument she gets historical!” “You mean ‘hysterical’,” his friend said, chuckling. “No, I mean HISTORICAL,” the man insists. “Every argument we have, she’ll go, “I still remember that time when you . . . .”
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1. Don’t ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you know what it’s like. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 7. If you talk about having a big…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no,that’s not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebie…
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One day there was a boy and he asked his mom, Mom how old are you? His mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the ate dinner the boy asked , Mom how much do you weigh. The Mom said that is a question you don’t ask a laddy. When the Mom tucked the boy in he asked, her Mom why did you and dad get a divorce? Mom said because, just because. The next…
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A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road, and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The…
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An Eskimo newcomer just settled down on the outskirts of an Eskimo village. Since he was a stranger, he was not able to make friends that easily with his new neighbors. One day, a neighbor dropped by the newcomer’s igloo and said to the stranger, “I want to welcome you to the village but before you could be accepted as a member of this village, you will have to undergo three traditional initiation rites.” The Eskimo newcomer asked, “What are…
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big weenie or huge…
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It was Christmas time and Jim wanted to buy a nice present for his girlfriend. He walked into a pet shop and walked up to the front counter. “Excuse me, sir, but do you have any special pets?” Jim asked the man “Why yes right over there.” He pointed to a small parrot perched on a wooden stick inside a cage in the corner. “His name is CHET.” “Well, what does this bird do that is so special??” Jim asked.…
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