Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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Two immigrants, new to America, are wandering around on their first day off the boat in New York City, seeing the sights. Pretty soon they realize it’s time for lunch and they’re hungry from walking around all morning. They see a street vendor selling hotdogs. The first immigrant says, “I can’t believe it! They eat dogs in America.” The second immigrant, although equally shocked, replies, “Well, we’re going to be Americans now, so we have to behave like Americans and…
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I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…
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Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things best left unsaid. – Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 to keep up with me! Good job! – Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. – I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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1. You can achieve a “Runner’s High” by sitting up. 2. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before… 3. You can see individual air molecules vibrating. 4. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. 5. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. 6. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. 7.…
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A man is out drinking with his buddies one night and suddenly realizes he has stayed too late and is in for trouble when he gets home. “No problem,” says his friend, “Do what I do to my wife. Sneak into the bedroom, crawl up under the blanket between her legs and do a little oral sex! She’ll forget all about being mad and fall right asleep.” So the guy gets home to a dark, quiet house. He creeps in…
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There were these three hunters that were fixing to go hunting in a familiar part of the woods. The first man set up while the other two still hunted. The first hunter was sitting in his tree when he got cold and sleepy. He got him a dip of Skoal and realized he had to take a shit. He didn’t want to climb down so he just shit over the side. He then fell asleep. The other two hunters killed…
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TWO MORONS BUY A COW AND TAKE IT HOME. AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY REALIZE THAT THE COW ISN’T DRINKING. THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND FORCE IT TO DRINK. AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, ONE MORON SAYS TO THE OTHER,”I’LL HOLD HIS HEAD IN THE WATER AND YOU SUCK ON HIS ASS”. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE MORON AT THE HEAD YELLS BACK TO HIS FRIEND, “IS IT WORKING?”. HIS FRIEND REPLIES, “YES,BUT RAISE HIS HEAD,…
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01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…
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