Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman and a man get into a car accident, and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,that’s interesting. I’m a woman… Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left,but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of…
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A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn`t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he`d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few…
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The church’s gardener had just finished cleaning the courtyard of a large accumulation of pigeon droppings when another flock landed on the statuary in the garden. Furious, he began yelling at them “Fuck off, you bastards, fuck off!” Just then, the pastor came out and, hearing how upset the gardener was, said to him, “There’s no need to use profanity, my friend. Just wave your arms and say ‘Shoo, birdies, Shoo, birdies. You’ll see, they’ll fuck off.”
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Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…
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A man was called in for an audit by the IRS. So, he asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes. Let them think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice: “Don’t let them intimidate you. Wear your best suit and an expensive tie.” Confused, the man went to his Minister, told him of the conflicting…
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Tips on becoming a serious Computer Gamer. -Written by residents of the Arizona mental health facility. 1. Ignore all family and friends: They will only get in the way. The computer is your friend, your mentor, and your leader. Try giving it a name, and draw a face on it for personality. 2. Become totally immersed in the world of games: When you can’t remember if your algebra homework was to finish page 30 in the book, or rescue the…
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A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
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What do you call Frosty the snowman in June? A puddle! What kind of ship never sinks? Friendship! What is Black and white and red all over? A cow that didn’t wear sunblock! What is the main use for cow-hide? The main use is to use the cowhide and cover the cow’s body!
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Sally was seen going into the woods carrying a small package and a large bird cage. She had gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend Liz had never seen Sally looking so sad. So Liz said, “Heard you went off into the woods for a couple of days. Glad you got back okay but you look so sad. Why?” Sally replied, “Because I can’t get a man.” Liz said, “Well you sure won’t find one in the middle…
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Two straight guys were playing a round of golf when they noticed two gays ahead of them. They decided to have a little fun so they started to aim their shots near where they were playing. After a couple of balls landed a little too close for comfort the gays decided that the next time a ball lands close to one of them, one of them would fall down and make they were hurt and then they would sue the…
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