Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York with 2000 yen, and walked out with $72.00. The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66.00. He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week. The clerk replied, “Fluctuations.” The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, “Fluc you Amelicans too!”
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A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude, because it taught him how much his wife loved him. She was so thrilled to have him around, that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she ran out and yelled, “My husband’s home! My husband’s home!”
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1. Scrub toilet and flush several times.(You may consider this step optional.) 2. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo. 3. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut. 4. Sit on lid. Cat’s efforts to free itself will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions. 5. Flush toilet a couple of times to rinse the cat. NOTE: Hold securly to leash attached to cat in toilet. 6. Leap off toilet seat, dash…
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A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes. An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you…
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How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,…
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10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box. 7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag! 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. Hmmmmmm. I think it’s out of fluid! 4. My equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish. 3. It’s an entry-level position. 2. When do you think you’ll be getting off today? And the number 1 thing…
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Things Learned from Children For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, think of this as birth control. 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house, 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.…
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Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren’t: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box. 7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag! 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. HMMMMMMMM….I think it’s out of fluid! 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish. 3. It’s an entry-level position. 2. When do you think…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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