Final answer Jokes - page 5

Toothbrush Salesman

Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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Business Lessons

Lesson Number One: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit noticed the crow, and asked, “Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered, “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral Of The Story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,…

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Moose Hunting

Moose Hunting Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long,…

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Tee shot

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed; driving his partner nuts. Finally, his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!” The other guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” his partner answered, “you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting…

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Elevator Joke

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F”. He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.” She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.” The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time. The man smiled back to her…

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Punishment by profession

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. “I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.” The sheik turns to the…

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US Tourists

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. “America,” the husband replied. Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded. “She’s not from the States.” “Yes I am.” said the wife. He looked at her and asked, “Is he your husband?” “Yes,” she…

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Now that’s magic!

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. After he drinks it he looks into his shirt pocket shakes his head and asks for another one. This goes on for a few hours until the bartender starts getting curious. He walks up to the man and asks him what the hell he’s doing. “This is the way it goes”, he answers, “I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I drink until she looks good…

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A Royal Pain in the …

A big-shot businessman had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. Se came into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.” After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,…

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Now Hear This

A man suspected that his wife was having a hearing problem. One night he positioned himself across the room from her as she sat in her favorite chair, her back to him. Softly he asked, “Can you hear me?” When he didn’t get an answer, he moved closer and repeated, “Can you hear me?” Still no answer. He moved closer again and asked, “Can you hear me?” Finally he repeated his question from directly behind his wife’s chair, to which…

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