Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were three guys talking in a pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two…
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A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, paid the bill and bought a soft drink. As he stood by his car to drink his cola, he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep, then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind,…
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For more than an hour the scrawny guy sat at the bar staring down in his glass. Suddenly a burly truck driver loped across the room, sat down next to him and drank the guys drink. The poor fellow burst out crying. “Oh, come on, pal,” the trucker said. “I was joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink.” “No, that’s not it,” the man replied. “This has been the worst day of my life. I overslept, was late for work…
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Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…
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We know about ambulance-chasing lawyers, but there’s also big money in splitsville. There was shifty-eyed guy at the post office methodically licking “Love” stamps and placing them on a pile of bright pink envelopes with hearts all over. After all were stamped, the man took out a perfume bottle and sprayed each envelope. A curious bystander asked: “What are you doing?” “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’” said the fellow at the counter. “But why?” “I’m a…
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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An old fellow was snoozing away, contentedly, when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman. “Oh, my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed. “I’m at the wrong house.” “Sweetheart, you’re at the right house, the old guy assured her. “But you’re forty years too late!”
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There were two old boys from Alabama who loved to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard the fishing was really good up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was nicely frozen over. They went to this bait shop to get the tackle they would need. One of them said, “Oh, and we’re gonna need an ice pick, too.” So they got that and took off. In about two hours, one of…
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A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. “Show the lady your finest mink!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, “Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.” “No problem! I’ll write you a check!” “Very good, sir.” says…
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