Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The new priest is a little nervous about hearing the confessions, but the older priest encourages him to give it a try. The new priest listens to a few, and then the older priest pulls him out of the confessional, saying, “Why don’t you try to do this, cross your arms, rub your chin, and say things like ‘Yes, I see’ and ‘Go on, my child.’” The new priest does this. then the older priest says to him, “Now, don’t…
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MONICA: Bill? When are we going to Florida? BILL: What are you talking about? MONICA: You said if I stayed late at the White House, you’d take me to Florida. BILL: That allegation is absolutely false, Monica. I said that if you stayed late at the White House, I was going to TAMPER with you.
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True Story. In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and finger to simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
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I know I haven’t known you very long, and I shouldn’t be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven’t’ had it for a while going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. and I’d be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now, that I have a…
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One old man was sitting on a park bench talking to a new acquaintance. “I’ll tell you,” he said, “I’ve learned that arthritis is the cruelest disease.” “Crueler than cancer?” his friend asked. “You bet,” the first codger replied. “It makes every single one of your joints stiff–except the right one!”
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An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.…
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A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent on a mission to find an airplane that had crashed on top of a mountain. It was their duty to rescue any survivors. After finally reaching the top of the mountain, they came upon the crash site. At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto a huge pile of there bones, he noticed the rescue…
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Tech Support calls “YOU” for help. When you are reading something printed, you wish you could use a search function to get to the point. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say “LOL.” When you reply to someone verbally, your fingers start typing your response. You check your e-mail over and over, even when you know there’s nothing there. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. You have called out someone’s screen name while making…
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Two Kiwi’s are working on a building site in Auckland. Phul (Phil) & Muck (Mick). Anyway Phul turns to Muck & says, “Cawww I’ve gotta take a piss, but there’s nowhere to go, eh.” “Walk out to the ind of thit plank,” replies Muck. “I’ll stand on this ind & balance ut.” “Are you sure, Muck?” “Yis, no worries” “100%?” “YIS!” So out goes Phul to take a piss & the lunch siren sounds, Muck forgets what he’s supposed to…
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