Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.” The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.” “Yes I do!” “Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?” “Well, then I take that big chair they all carry, and I stick it in his face until he backs down.” “Well, what if the lion takes that big…
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A man was digging in his garden, when he came across a rare lamp. He was rubbing it, when a genie pops out and tells him, “You will be granted three wishes for letting me out of my lamp. But I warn you, whatever you wish for, your enemy will get double.” So it just happens that his worst enemy is his next-door neighbor. So the man thinks and says, “I wish I had a ten-story mansion!” So he gets…
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Two guys wanted to go out and drink but the problem was that they had no money to buy beer. One of the guys had an idea. He went to go buy a hotdog at one of the street stands. He told his friend that when they go to the bars they just ring up their tab and then I’ll pull out the hotdog and you will start sucking on it. His friend said it wouldn’t work. The other guy…
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An engineering student was walking across campus when another engineer rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. “Where did you get such a great bike?” asked the first. The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’” The second engineer nodded approvingly. “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t…
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1. My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food… She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. ” —————– 2. I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said, “Some where I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?” —————– 3. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker.…
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There was this guy named Joe Shitz. He lived his whole life with this peculiar name, and he finally decided to have it legally changed. He told his friend “I was tired of everyone making fun of my name. I decided to finally do something about it.” His friend asked “So what did you change your name to?” He replied “I changed it to Melvin Shitz. I was tired of everone saying “What d’ya know, Joe.”
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A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11.” The guy says, “Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.” The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. He says to the salesman, “I lost my business and my house, I…
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I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…
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Why It’s GREAT To Be A Guy Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Your orgasms are real. Always. Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow. Wedding plans take care of themselves. You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be president. You can wear a white shirt to a water park. Foreplay is optional. You…
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A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!” The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, “Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there too? I’ve…
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