Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a guy with a speech impediment, and he went into a grocery store, and said, “Do you have any bum?” And then guy behind the counter said, “Bum, what’s bum?” The other guy says, “Bum, you know that stuff you put in your mouth and chew.” The guy behind the counter says, “Oh, you mean gum!” And the guy with the speech impediment says, “Ya, bum.” So, he buys his gum and goes to a hardware store, and…
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* If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. * Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down. * Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to find that perfect present….again. * If you ask a question you don’t want an answered, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. * Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. * Sunday sports — it’s like the full moon, or the…
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A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned and says, “What if this place is still bugged?” The groom says, “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, and under the rug. Finally, he says, “AHA!” Under the rug is a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager…
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A little boy goes out for Halloween dressed as a pirate. An old lady says to him, “What a cute pirate! Where are your bucaneers?” The little boy replies, “Under my bucking hat.”
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A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, Ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.” Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, Ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.” The lady looked at him,…
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A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…
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One day a boy was walking home from school when he came across an Indian and an elephant. The Indian noticed the little boy and said, “This elephant tell how old you are.” And the boy said, “Yeah, right!” Then the elephant stompped his feet ten times and the boy said, “Yes I am ten years old!” So he went home and told his mom and the mom went to the Indian with the elephant and the Indian said, “This…
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A guy and his beautiful girlfriend go into to this bar. The guy sits down and the beautiful girl tells her boyfriend that she is going to the bar to order her favorite mixed drink. She walks up to the bar to order the drink and along comes this drunk guy slurring, “Damn, baby, you are so fine, I would love to suck on those tits of yours!” She replies, “How dare you talk to me that way, my boyfriend…
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A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn’t close a large suitcase. The groom said, “Darling, you get on top and I’ll try.” That…
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A couple is golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband says, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows – It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.” The wife tees up and promptly shanks it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringes and says, “I told you to watch out for the houses!…
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