Two Blondes
Two blondes are walking down the street. They turn the corner and walk into a building.You think one of them whould have seen it…….
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
F king Jokes - page 159
Kid on a Tricycle
There was this young boy who really liked going fast. So his parents bought him a tricycle. One day his brother came over with his brand new car. The young boy ran up to his brother and begged him to give him a ride in his new, fast car. The brother said “How about this. I’ll tie your tricyle to the back of my car and I’ll pull down the street.” The young boy accepted immediately. The arrangement was that…
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Motel 6 Slogans
The Top 16 Rejected Motel 6 Slogans 16 We’re working on that smell thing, too. 15 Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car. 14 As seen on “COPS” 13 If we’d known you were staying all night, we’d have changed the sheets. 12 Not just for nooners anymore. 11 We left off the 9, but you know it’s there. 10 You rented the room, now buy the video. 9 Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then…
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The Occupational Explanation
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…
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Good and Bad News
The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Private Brabant will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this, the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brabant was overweight and terribly slow. But then the sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news: Private Brabant will be driving a truck.”
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Things You Shouldn’t Say To A Cop (Revised)
Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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Chainsaw
This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various models. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have lots of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. You can’t go wrong with this chainsaw, and it will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day. So, the man takes…
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How to Write a College Paper
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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Mother Goose 1999
Once upon a time, a beautiful princess was seated on the shore of a pond near her castle. As she combed her golden tresses in the reflection of the pristine water, a frog hopped into her lap and spoke to her. “Dearest Princess, I was once a handsome prince with a thousand servants and riches beyond your imagination. One day a beggar woman transformed me into this frog that you see before you, for she was indeed a witch. But…
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Pictures mailed home
A man at a nudist camp got a letter from his mother asking for a picture. Since the only pictures he had were taken in the nude, he cut one in half and mailed her the part showing him only from the waist up. His mom wrote back after receiving the photograph and said, “Thanks for the picture. Can your grandma have one too?” The guy thought, “Since grandma can’t see well, I’ll just give her the bottom half,” and…
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