Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…
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You have had you tech job for too long if: 1)You know all your co-worker’s IP addresses but forget their names 2)You know co-worker’s ICQ # but havent seen them face to face in over a month 3)You send an email as URGENT rather than walking down the hall to talk to the person. 4)You would rather use your breaks to surf the web instead of getting out of your chair 5)You check your email more than 10 times an…
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There was this guy (we won’t mention any names) that really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into his mirror, admiring his body. He noticed that he was tanned all over, with the exception of his “thing”. He decided to do something about that. He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his “thing” which he left sticking out. Two little…
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As you are all aware, the airline industry in which we work has it’s own unique set of terminology. The following are some of the most commonly used terms and their definitions. PASSENGER – A herding creature of widely varying intellect, usually found in pairs or small groups. Often will become vicious and violent in simple and easily rectified situations. When frightened or confused these creatures collect into a group called a “line.” This “line” has no set pattern and…
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On his way home from school, Little Johnny always passed by a street corner where a group of prostitutes would be standing around. These streetwalkers would smile and wave their pinkies at Little Johnny while greeting him, “Hello there, cute little boy!” This went on for several days until Little Johnny decided to confront the prostitutes. He asked, “Why do you keep waving your pinkies at me?” The prostitutes laughed out loud and one of them said, “Oh, we were…
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Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town, received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why this regularity. “I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained. “Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time.” The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,” she said. “All this time we’ve been setting…
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A guy is walking in a park and sees this good looking blonde sitting at a park bench petting a dog. He walks up to her and says, “Does your dog bite?” She says, “No, my dog doesn’t bite.” So, he bent down to pet the dog and it lunged at him. The man said, “Hey, I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite!” The blonde replies, “This isn’t my dog.”
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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One day an old man named Ralph went driving on his favorite highway. Twenty minutes into the trip, he looks in his rear-view mirror only to see flashing lights of the state police. Ralph pulls the car to the side of the road and the cop follows him onto the berm. “License and Registration, please,” said the cop. After looking at the license for a minute, the cop asks Ralph if he knows why he pulled him over. Ralph replies,…
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Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…
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