Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One morning, a gentleman boarded a plane headed for Rome. Within several minutes of finding his seat, a rumor began to circulate about the plane that the Pope would be on this very flight. Being Catholic, and therefore a rather large fan of the Holy Father, he of course hoped that the Pope’s seat would be in close proximity to his so that they might be able to converse on their way to the Holy City of Rome. No sooner…
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Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. It was the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life. I didn’t realize how much I loved you until we were apart! Won’t you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you with all my heart! All my love, Sally xxxxoooxxxx P.S. Congratulations on winning this week’s lottery.
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A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, “But why?” he asked. “Nothin, I just wanna quit that’s all,” she said sullenly. “Look, I’ll give you a raise.” “No,” she said “You can’t just quit like that. There must be a…
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Luigi and his cousin Mario were standing on the hills of Italy overlooking the sea. Luigi says to Mario, “Do you see the docks on the edge of the sea? I Luigi built all of those wonderful docks. Do they call me Luigi the dock builder? No. Do you see all of the beautiful ships on the water? I Luigi built those ships. Do they call me Luigi the ship builder? No! Do you see all of the beautiful mansions…
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Two people in their mid-seventies have been seeing each other socially for nearly two years. They have even traveled together but always took separate hotel rooms. One evening at dinner, old Bert says to Edna, “I been thinking, and we’re wasting a heluva lot of money. We pay rent on two apartments, insurance on two cars, two cable bills, two phones…there ain’t no end to it.” “What are you saying, Bert?” asks Edna sweetly. “Hell, we should move in together”…
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A guy walks into a gas station and buys a pack of cigarettes. He pulls one out and starts smoking it. The cashier says, “Excuse me, Sir, but you can’t smoke in here.” The guy says, “Don’t you think it’s kinda dumb that I can BUY them here but can’t SMOKE then here?” And cashier quickly replies, “Not at all . . . we also sell condoms and toilet paper here.”
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In the rest room, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side by side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands…clear up to his elbows…he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men who were watching him and commented, “I graduated from the University of Michigan, and we were taught be clean! The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips…
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Two altar boys walked out of the back door of a church, stripped down naked, and jumped in, head first, to a pile of snow, and slid down the hill to the parking lot. A man who just parked his car in the parking lot demanded to know what was going on. One boy said, “It’s OK. Father Flanagan likes to have a couple cold ones after mass”.
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Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong) Sign on an airport runway: All baggage carts must yield to oncoming planes. Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don’t ring bell. Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less. Sign in a 1 hour eyeglass store: 20/20 in 60 Minutes. Sign in a funeral parlor: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Grave digger’s motto: We are the last ones to put you down. Sign in a dentist’s…
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When you are dating….. Farting is never an issue. When you are married ….You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?” When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public. When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public. When you are dating…..…
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