Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…
(0)
Loading...
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?” The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?” “Yes granddaughter, it’s me.” “It’s really, really you, grandmother?” the woman repeats. “Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.” The woman looks…
(0)Loading...
Once I was caught by an eye-catching phase that said “Take A Chance”. It was on a small box that had a picture of a beautiful car so I immediately filled out the information on the card, folded it up and placed it in the box. The next thing I knew, I had extra charges on my phone bill and my long distance company had been changed. I immediately switched back and everytime I see one of those boxes, I…
(1)Loading...
A blonde took a trip to Las Vegas and decided too crash for the night. The quickly drove over to a Motel 6 and got a room. But as she was taking her luggage to her room she stopped in front of a vending machine, staring at it greedily. She quickly dropped her stuff and reached into her pocket to pull out her coins. She put the coins in the slot and pressed the button. A coke fell out of…
(0)Loading...
Two opposing laywers in a big civil lawsuit are both called into Judge Judy’s chamber. Judge Judy looks sternly at both men and says, “Yesterday, Mr. Martin here gave me ten thousand dollars so that I can render the decision in his favor. That same afternoon Mr. Rowan here paid me a visit and gave me fifteen thousand dollars so that I will look at his cause more favorably.” Mr. Rowan and Mr. Martin are now squirming in their seats…
(0)Loading...
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser, with an experienced partner. As they were responding to a radio call, they observed a crowd, gathered at an intersection. The rookie officer rolls down his window and yells, “YOU WILL DISPERSE! NOW!” The crowd does nothing. The rookie steps out of his car, draws his service revolver and says, “YOU WILL LEAVE THIS AREA, IMMEDIATELY, OR BE SUBJECT TO ARREST! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!” The small crowd…
(0)Loading...
A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…
(1)Loading...
A traveling salesman visits to a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, “Don’t miss the Amazing Goldstein!” Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts. Animals, clowns, contortionists, and other questionable acts. Finally the trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely…
(0)Loading...
Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…
(0)Loading...
A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for the rake and can’t find it. He yells up to his wife, “Where’s the rake?” She shakes her head and cups her hand behind her ear to show that she can’t hear him. So he points to his eye (I), hits his knee (need), then makes raking motions. She replies by pointing to her eye, grabbing her left breast, slapping her…
(0)Loading...