Eye to eye Jokes - page 2

Through the eyes of a child…

Children’s Comments An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?” Children on Religion….. A mother…

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Read JokeThrough the eyes of a child…

before his very eyes

A highly sophisticated couple and a country couple were walking down a street when the country guy farted. The sophisticated man looked at him with a go to hell look and said, “How dare you fart before my wife!” The country boy replied, “I’m sorry, but I didn’t know she wanted to fart first!”

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Read Jokebefore his very eyes

Cock-eyed

Did you here about the Jones baby? He was born without any eye lids, so the doctors decided to use the skin from his circimcision to make him eyelids. The operation went great but they said they would have to wait a couple of weeks to see if was going to be cock-eyed.

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Read JokeCock-eyed

bulls-eye

Once there was a man who bought a guitar. He went down the street and played it for a dog, and the dog died. He walked further down the street and stopped to play for a cat, and the cat fell over and died. So the man hung up his guitar afraid that if he played it for himself he would die. About a week later he sees an ad in the paper that reads, ‘angry bull, reward for the…

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Two Black Eyes

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up on an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black…

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Read JokeTwo Black Eyes

Eye exam for a blonde

A dumb blonde goes to an optometrist for an eye exam. The optometrist tells her to sit down and unbutton her blouse. As she does, he reaches and grabs her right breast and asks if she can see what he is doing. She looks down and tells him no. He then reaches over and grabs her left breast and asks the same question receiving the same answer. He then takes out his penis and asks her if she can see…

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Read JokeEye exam for a blonde

Eyelids

In the newspaper the other day there was a story of a newborn that was born without any eyelids. The doctor told the young couplethat there was nothing to worry about, since it was early enough, that when their son was circumsized, the foreskin could be grafted on as eyelids. I don’t know about you, but I feel sorry for that young kid. He’s gonna grow up COCKEYED!

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Read JokeEyelids

An Eye Roller

A farmer in an old truck was driving to town when he spotted a hiker carrying a backpack and a big suitcase. Being a caring man, the farmer pulled over and asked the young man if he wanted a ride. Even though the truck looked like it was about to fall apart, the young man put his suitcase in the back and climbed aboard. But the farmer was confused when he noticed the man was still wearing his backpack. “Why…

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Read JokeAn Eye Roller