Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Benny: “Now you take my grandpa, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too.” Louie: “Wow, that’s incredible. How did he know all of that?” Benny: “A judge told him.”
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Well, I’ve done a little research, and what I’ve discovered should make anyone think twice before eating that incredibly mind-boggling and oh so dangerous food: Bread! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread eaters. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality…
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Dear Diary, Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, “Beat 12 eggs separately.” The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. ” Tuesday: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, “Serve without dressing.” So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said,…
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This guy sees an ad for a new number in the circus, so he goes an tries out. He brings with him an alligator, a monkey, and a toy piano. The circus director says, “What can you do?” “Well, my alligator plays the piano and the monkey sings.” The circus director does not believe this, but the guy proves it. They soon become the number 1 act in all the world’s circuses. Once, however, in Japan, a show is about…
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This guy was walking down the fairway toward the green when he spots a funeral procession passing by. He stops and takes his hat off,bows his head,meditates for a few minutes and continues walking toward the green. When he gets there, the foursome in front stops him to say that his jesture on the fairway was one of the most compasionate things they ever saw.He told them it was the least he could do seeing how he was married to…
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Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…
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You and your teeth don’t sleep together. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop, and you’re not eating cereal. Your back goes out but you stay home. When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture. It takes two tries to get up from the couch. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. When happy hour…
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A Blonde from Kentucky was really poor. She was working 2 jobs, just to keep her and her 3 kids alive. She was always telling everybody that she wished that she was fucking rich, instead of fucking poor. One day while walking home from work she found an old lamp along side of the road, when she pulled the cork out, here came a genie. He was so happy he said,” I’ll grant you one wish if you let me…
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A man was walking along the beach when he saw a half buried ornate bottle. He picked it up and after examining it closely, removed the decorative stopper. As expected, a cloud of smoke blew out and a Genie appeared. The Genie informed the man that he was now the Genie’s master and was granted three wishes, but with a rider attached. The Genie proceeded to announce that his previous master was a lawyer and the third wish was for…
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I noticed some interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: – Nobody would know about her if it weren’t for Bill – She sucks – She blows – She’s bloated – She’s the focus of a huge legal battle – She’ll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?
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