Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Q. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? A. Depends on how thin you slice them. Q. Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print. Q. How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly? A. When your lawyer doesn’t seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore. Q. What do you call an honest lawyer?…
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A guy applied to join a nudist club. “Exactly what do you do here?” he asked. “It’s quite simple,” said the club secretary, “We take off all our clothes and commune with nature.” “Cool,” said the guy, “…count me in!!!” So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path, he saw a big sign which read, “Beware of Gays.” A little further along he saw another sign which read the…
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1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…
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Haven’t we met before? = Nice ass. I like moonlight walks on the beach. = I’m broke. I need you. = I’m getting too old to be chokin’ the chicken. It’s just orange juice…try it. = One of these, she’ll have her legs around my head. She’s a stuck-up bitch. = She won’t sleep with me. Sorry I don’t have time to make you breakfast? = Who the fuck are you? I have something to tell you. = Get tested.…
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A Rabbi from Peru Was vainly attempting to screw His wife said, “Oy vey” If you keep up this way The Messiah will come before you!
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Like a lot of other religions, Jews are also experiencing a resurgence of their faith. In fact, one young Jewish girl I know was so very impressed after she had read Exodus, she had her nose changed back.
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Dad: Come in here, son. we need to talk. Billy: What’s up, Dad? Dad: There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Billy: I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can say truthfully that I scratched the car. Dad: Well, it wasn’t there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Billy: Well, as…
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A young American arriving in England in 1961 for postgraduate study at Oxford went to visit American-born poet T. S. Eliot. As he was leaving, he noticed that the poet was apparently searching for the right remark with which to bid him farewell. “Forty years ago I went from Harvard to Oxford,” Eliot began. There was a prolonged pause while the younger man waited breathlessly for the poet’s words of wisdom. Finally Eliot said, “Have you any long underwear?”
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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The big-rig driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in very short shorts. “What’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow – Roy Snow,” he answered. “And yours?” “Me, I’m June Hansen,” she said. A few minutes down the road, she felt his gaze on her. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?” she challenged the trucker. “Oh, I was just thinkin’ what it might be like,”…
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