Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy walks into a bar and sits down way at the end. No one else is within several yards of him, but he hears a voice. “Nice shirt.” He thinks he’s just hearing things, so he just ignores it. Again, a few minutes later, he hears the same voice say, “Nice tie.” This time, he knows what he heard so he asks the guy at the other end of the bar, “Did you hear anything?” The guy responds, “Nope.”…
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A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had…
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A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?” “Well, sort of”,…
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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the “other side.” That’s what “they” call it the “other side.” Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes…
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A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender tells the drunk the he can prove he isn’t drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor. As he is doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy doing his push-ups. He looks at him for a minute and then kicks him in the…
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A man hears a voice in his head one day, “Quit your job, sell your house, take all the money and go to Las Vegas.” He hears it a few times a day. Soon it’s bugging him every minute of the day. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all the money and go to Las Vegas.” Finally he quits his job, sells his house, and splits for Vegas. As soon as he gets off the plane the voice says,…
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“I have to tell you the truth,” a young man said to his new girlfriend. “While we’ve been dating, I’ve been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.” “Don’t worry about it,” the girl told him. “I’ve been secretly seeing a computer programmer and a lawyer.”
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Philip II, king of Macedonia, like Alexander the Great, had the reputation of being a heavy drinker. Once when drunk he gave an unjust verdict in the case of a woman who was being tried before him. “I appeal!” cried the unfortunate litigant. “To whom?” asked the monarch, who was also the highest tribunal in the land. “From Philip drunk to Philip sober,” was the bold reply. The king, somewhat taken back, gave the case further consideration.
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A hunter was out one day, crouched down for nearly an hour when he noticed this bear crawl by. So, without hesitation, he fired his shotgun at the bear. A cloud of dirt went up, but there was nothing there. Finally, he felt a tap on his sholder. It was the bear. “What are you doing? You can’t shoot me. Turn around and pull down your pants for some sweet lovin’ or I’m going to rip you to pieces.” The…
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