Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate ship. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed…
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Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it’s quite obvious that she has nothing under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying…
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An airoplane is about to crash land. The pilot yells over the intercom to the passengers to throw something out the window so that the crash won’t be as bad. A young irish blonde throws out a case o whisky, a big english bloke lobs out a case o cigs and an Iraq phsyco throws out a bomb. Five minutes later a women is walking along a street. She see’s a little girl crying. “What’s the matter dear?” she asks.…
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These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?” The Saudi says, “Excuse me, what’s a shortage?” The Russian says, “Excuse me, what’s meat?” The North Korean says, “Excuse me, what’s an opinion?” The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me? What’s ‘excuse me’?”
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If cigarettes are “coffin nails” is chewing tobacco “coffin glue”? If a “bakers dozen” is 13 is a “politicians dozen” 11? When it says “Sodium Free” is the product free of sodium or are they not charging you for the salt? What was the best thing before sliced bread? After a desert sandstorm do trucks go around and put ice on the roads? If a couch potato eats french fries is it considered cannibalism? If two lovers share the same…
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Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. university? The scientists were cloning monkeys, and one of them blew up. The scientists are trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the Rhesus’ pieces.
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Q: How come Monica Lewinsky’s cheeks are so puffy? A: She’s withholding evidence.
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A minister was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners, whom he knew was an unkempt housekeeper. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. “Were these dishes EVER washed?” he asked his hostess, running his fingers over the grit and grime. “She replied, “They’re as clean as soap and water could get them.” He felt quite apprehensive, but not wanting to offend, blessed…
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A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, “I’ll have a C monkey please.” The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “That’ll be $5000.” The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist…
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A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jew passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, “Who wrote this shit?
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