Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT! Save Your Breath . . . You’ll need it to blow up your date! All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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A man and his wife are out playing golf. They tee off and his drive goes to the right while her drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. The mystery woman looks at the wife…
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Little Johnny’s father just comes home from a long business trip. He finds Little Johnny riding a very fancy new 10-speed bike. He asks Little Johnny, “Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.” “Easy, Dad…,” Little Johnny replies. “I earned it from hiking.” “Come on,” his father says. “Tell me the truth.” “That is the truth,” insists Little Johnny. “Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over…
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A very well-built young blond was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch, telling him how frustrated she was. “I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained. “I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too.” The shrink thought for a moment and said, “Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?” The girl thinks about…
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TWO MORONS BUY A COW AND TAKE IT HOME. AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY REALIZE THAT THE COW ISN’T DRINKING. THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND FORCE IT TO DRINK. AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, ONE MORON SAYS TO THE OTHER,”I’LL HOLD HIS HEAD IN THE WATER AND YOU SUCK ON HIS ASS”. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE MORON AT THE HEAD YELLS BACK TO HIS FRIEND, “IS IT WORKING?”. HIS FRIEND REPLIES, “YES,BUT RAISE HIS HEAD,…
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Gentile wife to husband: “Go out and buy some Viagra!” Jewish wife to husband: “Go out and buy some shares of Pfizer!”
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A man walks into a Chinese restaurant to have dinner but the maitre’d informs him that there will be at least a twenty-minute wait. The maitre’d then asks the man, “Would you like to wait in the bar?” So the man goes into the bar and the bartender asks, “So what’ll it be?” The man replies, “Give me a Stoli with a twist.” The bartender squints at him for a few seconds, then smiles and says, “Once upon time there…
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After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, “Sammy, since you’re Jewish, I guess your family didn’t celebrate Christmas.” Sammy replied, “Oh, yes we did! We all held hands and danced around the cash register singing, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”
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Q: Have you heard about the new cartoon character that Warner Brothers has created for the Spanish-speaking audience? A: His name is “Por-Que Pig” (that’s P-P-P-P-P-Por-kay P-P-Pig)
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A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, “Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today!” The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, “How do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl, “You just change y to i and add es.”
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