Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A senior White House aide walked into the Oval Office to find all the president’s men standing around looking so worried and President Bill Clinton was not around. So the senior aide walked over to the Chief of Staff to ask what was the matter. The Chief of Staff sighed and said, “Today’s been nothing but bad news and worse news!” “What’s the bad news?” asked the senior aide. “Well, both India and Pakistan exploded their tenth atomic bomb turning…
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After a night on the town with his buddies and a few too many drinks, Tom foolishly offers to give everyone a lift home. As Tom is driving down the freeway, his friend yells out that he has missed the exit. “No problem,” says Tom as he puts the car in reverse and begins reversing — straight into another car. Wouldn’t you know it but 10 seconds later a police officer drives up. The officer approaches the other car first…
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I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar, and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else. After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of…
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe say’s to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money.” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.” So Joe…
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A woman awoke during the middle of the night to find her husband missing from the bed. She thought it was strange because he never got up during the middle of the night. Soon about 20 minutes went by and he still hadn’t returned. Somewhat worried she went looking for him. He wasn’t in the bathroom so she went downstairs. He wasn’t in the TV room or the kitchen getting something to eat. Becoming more worried she noticed the basement…
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A pretty blonde woman asks the young male clerk in the drugstore for some bottom deodorant. The clerk, somewhat bemused, explains to the blonde that they don’t sell ‘bottom’ deodorant . . .just the underarm type. The blonde, undismayed, assures the clerk that she has been buying ‘bottom’ deodorant here for several years, is quite satisfied with the product, and would like more. The puzzled clerk asks the phamacist if he can help the young lady. The pharmacist smiles and…
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A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After awhile a beggar came up to her and said, “Hello, Luv, how about us going for a walk together?” “How dare you!” said the woman, “I’m not one of your cheap pickups!” “Well, then,” said the beggar, “what are you doing in my bed?”
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Here is a great historical instance of out-of-the-box thinking: The renown British physicist Ernest Rutherford was known as the father of nuclear physics. When he was a professor at an English university, he got a call from a colleague who asked if Rutherford would be a referee on the grading of an examination question. This fellow professor was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question while the student claimed he should receive a…
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A man in a bar said to the bartender, “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks I can bite my own eye!” The bartender, convinced this was impossible, accepted. The man pulled out his false teeth, bit his eye gently with them, and replaced them in his mouth. The bartender was pretty upset, but paid the $100. A few minutes later, the man approached the bartender again. “Look,” he said, “I’ll give you a chance to win that hundred back. I’ll…
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An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over, “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again, “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back…
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