Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day this guy is sitting on a park bench eating a bald eagle. A cop comes by and says..”Hey fella…What do you think you are doing? That is an endangered species! You can’t kill it and eat it!” The cop arrests him and takes him to jail… The next day he goes to court and the judge says, “Sir, do you realize that a bald eagle is an endangered species and you can spend up to 5 years in…
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Some young city boy scouts were on their first camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They’re coming after us now with flashlights.”
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A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was…
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T’was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the…
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Confucius say: “Virginity like bubble. One prick … all gone!” “Man who run in front of car get tired.” “Man who run behind car get exhausted.” “Foolish man give wife Grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ!” “Man with one chopstick go hungry.” “Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.” “Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.” “Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.” “War does not determine who right. War determine who…
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One day at Little Bastard Elementary school, the children were at class in Mrs. Little’s class. She told the class that there was to be a special type of quiz that day and if you got your question right, you could go home early. “Alright class, who said ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country’?” Little Suzy rose her hand and answered John Kennedy, so she was dismissed. “Now, who…
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B.B. King and his beautiful wife celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. At night’s end, Mrs. King had a most special gift to express her undying loyalty to him. (she had B.B.’s initials tattooed to her behind, one B on each cheek) After they retired for the night, she bent over to show him the unexpected surprise. B.B. put on his glasses and said, “Who the Hell is BOB” ?
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An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called in an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer’s mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return I expect to see it completed.” Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the…
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1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. 2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two. 3. When giving directions, finish with “it’s right down yonder on the left.” 4. Talk REALLY slowly, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand what they’re saying. 5. When they talk about how great it is up north, tell them “Delta’s ready when you are.” 6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. 7. Refer to every…
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A fifth grader was asked by his teacher, “What is the size of the Democratic Party?” “About 5 feet 2 inches,” he replied promptly. “NO!” exploded the teacher….”I mean how many MEMBERS does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches, anyway?” “Well,” replied the boy, “my father is 6 feet tall, and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says, “I”ve had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party!”
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