Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This 92 year old man has been getting along by himself for years in his own house when he starts to become forgetful and begins to experience a few problems. His daughter suggests that maybe it’s time he goes into a home for the elderly. The old man reluctantly agrees, but recognizes that he might actually enjoy being around other people who probably share some of his interests, etc. So the daughter makes the arrangements, gets her father to the…
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Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little Christmas shopping with Jan, his regular saleswoman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his browsing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “OSCAR! OSCAR! I…
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The baby bear looks into his little bowl and it’s empty. He says, “Who’s been eating my porridge?” The Papa bear looks into his big bowl and it’s empty. He says, “Who’s been eating my porridge?” The Mama bear yells from the kitchen, “Will you assholes please shut up? I haven’t made the fucking porridge yet.”
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Bill walks into a downtown bar in Washington and there’s a band playing. He goes up to the band at a break and asks if he can play his saxophone in the band. The band leader says no. Bil says, “Please can I play my sax?” Again the band leader says no. Bill says, “I’m the President, you have to let me play!” The band gets mad and says, “No, now get out of here.” Bill turns around and starts…
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by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…
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An 83-year-old Hillbilly woman was examined by her Doctor. After he was done checking her over, he complimented her on her excellent health and said, “Do you and Jake still have intercourse?” The lady thought a second and said, “Let me ask Jake, afore I answer.” She hobbles out to the waiting room and says to her hubby, “Jake, the Doc wants to know iffin we still have intercourse. Do we?” “No, my dear,” Jake responded, “We now have Blue…
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, “Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!” The teacher replied, “Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is ‘urinate.’ Please use the word ‘urinate’ in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.” Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, “You’re…
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A farmer is sitting in a bar getting drunk. The bartender walks up to him and says, “You know, I’ve seen some pretty sad faces in my time but yours takes the cake.” “Some things you just can?t explain.” replied the farmer. “Tell me about it.” said the bartender. “Well,” the farmer began, “this morning I was out milking the cow. Just as the bucket was getting full, the cow knocked it over with her right leg.” “Knocked the bucket…
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A man was driving along when he saw a sign that said “Yard Sale Today”, so he decided to check it out. He wandered around for a while, not seeing anything he wanted, and then his eye fell upon a beautiful vase. He decided to ask how much it was. “How much for this vase?” he asked. “Ten dollars.” “Would you take five?” “Well I don’t know, it is a good vase.” “But five is all I have.” “Well, okay.”…
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Royce, a local football star, is jogging down the street when he sees a building on fire. A lady is standing on a third story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. “Hey, lady,” yells Royce, “Throw me the cat.” “No,” she cries, “It’s too far.” “I play football, I can catch him.” The smoke is pouring from the windows, and finally, the woman waves to Royce, kisses her cat goodbye, and tosses it down to the street. Royce…
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