Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jones was having difficulties in business. “If I had as little as a thousand dollars in actual cash right now, this minute,” he said to his wife sadly, “it might make all the difference.” “If that is all,” said Mrs. Jones, “then all is well.” She ran upstairs and came down with a large jar filled with bills. “I’ve kept this as a secret nest egg. You see, ever since we got married, I put a ten-dollar bill into the…
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A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender tells the drunk the he can prove he isn’t drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor. As he is doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy doing his push-ups. He looks at him for a minute and then kicks him in the…
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Little Johnny was a young boy, just potty trained. When he went to the bathroom though, he hit everything but the toilet. So mom had to go in and clean up after him. After two weeks, she has had enough, and took Lil’ Johnny to the doctor. After the examination, the Dr. said, “Well, his unit is too small. An old wives’ tale was to give him two slices of toast each morning, and his unit will grow so he…
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A man with a very little man on his shoulder enters a bar. The little man is no more than a foot tall. “Set ’em up”, says the man to the bartender. “I’ve got to drink these fast.” The bartender is not fazed by unusual happenings in his pub and sets up a dozen whiskies in front of the man. The little man jumps down from the man’s shoulder and begins kicking over the shots as fast as he can…
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A man hears a voice in his head one day, “Quit your job, sell your house, take all the money and go to Las Vegas.” He hears it a few times a day. Soon it’s bugging him every minute of the day. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all the money and go to Las Vegas.” Finally he quits his job, sells his house, and splits for Vegas. As soon as he gets off the plane the voice says,…
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Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The minister replied in disgust, “Ma’am, I’d rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!” The President then handed his drink…
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“I have to tell you the truth,” a young man said to his new girlfriend. “While we’ve been dating, I’ve been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.” “Don’t worry about it,” the girl told him. “I’ve been secretly seeing a computer programmer and a lawyer.”
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A professor had this lie detecting chair. Whenever anybody sitting on it would tell a lie, the chair would open up and the person would fall flat on the ground. So in his experimentation a young brunette came in and sat down. The professor asked her to tell about herself. She began, “I think I’m the most beautiful girl in this region, and perhaps even in the whole world!” Immediately after saying that the chair opened up and she landed…
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A guy walked into his friend’s office and found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks. “Oh, it’s my wife”, replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.” “Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither, he’s bald.”
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Jack: “I see you bought a new car. What’s the make?” Jill: “A Perndle.” Jack: “A what?” Jill: “A Perndle.” Jack: “I’ve never heard of a Perndle before.” Jill: “Me neither, but that’s what it says right over the steering wheel.” Jack: “It says WHAT over the steering wheel?” Jill: “The name of the car. It’s spelled out, right above the steering wheel, and right underneath the speedometer: P-R-N-D-L.”
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