Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.” The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: “What? What did he say? What’s he want?” His wife yells back, “Just hand him your underwear!”
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Skinny people piss me off! Especially when they say things like, “You know, sometimes I just forget to eat.” Now, I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat. A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t give a damn. They keep telling us to get in touch…
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Q: How do you confuse a Blonde? A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner. Q: How does she confuse you? A: She comes and tells you she’s found one.
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…
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I was reading in the paper today and I guess about a week ago this guy was trying to hire somebody to kill his wife. So he called up this Mafia guy named Arty. He asked Arty, “How much it would cost to kill my wife?” “A dollar,” Arty replied. So the guy said, “Every Tuesday my wife goes to Consumers at 6:00 and you can?t miss her cause she?s blonde and she drives a red sports car.” So the…
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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing a single earring. This man knows his co-worker is normally a pretty conservative fellow, and he is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings now.” “Don’t make such a big deal of it. It’s only an earring!” he replies sheepishly. “So? How long have you been wearing one?” “Ever…
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DID YOU EVER HEAR THE EXPRESSION: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING? THIS IS HOW IT ORIGINATED: George Washington was traveling with his troops at Valley Forge. They were cold, hungry and tired. One of the soldiers asks General Washington when they can stop to get some food and rest. Washington tells them he’ll stop at the next house he sees. At the house, he knocks on the door and asks the lady if she can give his men food and…
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At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has seen a ghost?” Most hands went up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands remained up. “Okay, now how many of you have had physical contact with a ghost?” Three hands stayed up, and there was a slight murmur in the crowd. “Well, that’s very interesting. Let me ask if any of you have, how…
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One day Mr. Purdue comes up with this great idea for the Catholic Church. Immediately he makes plane reservations to go to Rome. When he gets into Rome he makes an appointment to see the Pope. When he sees the Pope he says this: “It is great to meet you, your Eminence, and I have a little proposition for you. See, I was in church the other day and I thought of a great idea. Purdue Chickens is ready to…
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My dad bought my mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked Dad how she was doing with it. “Oh,” said my dad, “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet.” “How come?” I asked. “Well,” he answered “because with a clarinet she can’t sing . . .”
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