Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I had to take my son’s hamster to the vet. Here’s what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. “He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “Oldest trick in the book,” I informed him. “You go in to see what’s wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you…
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A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one last-a time.” “You foul mouthed swine!” said the lady…
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A man standing on a bridge seems to be contemplating suicide. He has lost his job, his home, and his car. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an evil image with a cape appears and asks the man what his problem is. The man replies that he has nothing to live for…everything is gone. The evil image in the cape tells the man that he is the devil, and he would grant three wishes in return for a blow job under the…
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Two rednecks named Bob & Earl were sick of being called stupid, so they decided to go to college and get an education. Bob went in first and got his schedule. “Math, Science, and Logic.” he read. Now Bob knew about Science and Math but had never heard of Logic, so he asked a professer just what it meant. “Well,” began the professer, “Do you have a weedeater?” “Yep.” answered Bob. “Ok, since you have a weedeater, I assume you…
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An alien from Alpha Centauri walks into a Martian restaurant specializing in human brains. He takes a seat and asks the waiter, “What’s your special on human brains?” “Well, we have engineer brains, doctor brains and lawyer brains,” the waiter enumerates. “Hmm. How much are the engineer brains?” “?bout 20 credits an ounce.” “That’s fair. Engineers have college education. How about the doctor brains?” “They cost around 30 credits an ounce.” “That’s also fair. Doctors have to undergo eight years…
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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he’s drinking it the monkey jumps all around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just…
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It’s a really busy day at work, so when the wife phones her husband, he says there just isn’t time to talk right now. “Oh, okay,” says his wife. “Just wanted to give you some news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?” The husband answers, “Well, like I said, it’s really a zoo around here. Why don’t you just quickly give me the good news, and I’ll get the bad news tonight when we’re home together?”…
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After going through Lamaze, Leboyer, and LeLeche classes with his expectant wife, the proud new father remained by her beside throughout the labor and delivery. Wanting to be as sympathetic as possible, he took his wife’s hand afterward and said, emotionally, “Tell me how it was, Darling, how it actually felt to give birth.” “OK, Honey,” his wife replied. “Smile as big as you can.” Beaming down at his wife and child, the man followed her instructions. “That’s not hard.”…
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How did the blonde get hurt while raking leaves? she fell out of the tree!
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I think we have been wasting our time preparing for Y2K. You know we are going to have the same problem in the year 10000 with the five digit year, and I think we should be working on that now. I call it the YAK problem (A being the hexadecimal character for 10). I just hate to think we will have to be going through the same things 8 thousand years from now. I also realize that Bill Gates agrees…
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