Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. He was somewhat annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick, and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. “Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”…
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EuroEnglish The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants…
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A pig farmer had about 9 sows he needed to get bred. He called around the area to only find out the only available breeder was two counties over. So he loaded up the pigs in a truck and headed out. When he got to the breeder, as he was unloading the pigs, the man ask what it would cost. The man replied, “It’ll be $100.00 a sow”. The man says, “That’s outrageous, I don’t have that kind of money”.…
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Little Billy and Johnnie were arguing in school about who had the toughest Dad. Billy said his Dad was the toughest, but Johnnie said his Dad was tougher, cause he could eat light bulbs. Billy said, “How do you know your Dad eats light bulbs?” Johnnie said, “‘Cause I had to use the bathroom one night, and as I passed my mom and dad’s room, I heard Dad tell Mom…”CUT THE LIGHT OUT AND I WILL EAT IT…”
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This is a specially-formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day. BREAKFAST 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole-wheat toast 1 cup skim milk LUNCH Small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup of spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey kiss AFTERNOON SNACK The rest of the kisses in the bag 1 tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with chocolate-chip topping DINNER 4 bottles of wine (red or white) 2 loaves garlic bread 1…
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A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up, but then the wife stops and says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me. ” The husband says “WHAT??” The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. The next day the husband takes…
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A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, Mother, I’ve had a hard day. Mary-Louise has been quite difficult…Yes, I know I ought to be more firm with her, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is… Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was hard to get along with and would make my life miserable, and you warned me not to marry her. Oh, how right you were…
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A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, “What’s the problem officer?” Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ticket you. Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60. Wife: Oh, Harry. You…
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A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There sits a long-time resident who looks about 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer, inquiringly. The old-timer says, “Look at me. I”m old and worn out. You”d never believe that I used to live the life of Riley, would you? I wintered on the Riviera, had a yacht, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France.” The new…
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A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he’d been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the dinner the young man realized he couldn’t hold it in one-second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped.…
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