Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well then, let it read, ‘Billy Bob died.” Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.” Only a little…
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A man was driving along the highway in Wyoming, when he noticed a beautiful white stallion standing proudly on a hill. All of his life the man dreamt of owning a horse like that, when suddenly he spotted the entrance to a ranch. The owner was outside mending a fence, so the man asked him, “Is that your horse?” “Yes it is,” replied the rancher, “in fact I was thinking about selling him.” Well the potential buyer got so excited…
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Two morons were working in a pit, digging away, while their boss was up on normal ground, sitting next to his cadillac, drinking lemonade. One moron said, “Why do we have to be down here, while our boss is up there relaxing?” The other replied, “I don’t know, I’ll go up and ask him”, which he did. The boss replied, “It’s because I’m smart and you guys are morons”. “What makes you think that?”, asked the moron. “Let me show…
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A cowboy was walking down the street with his new pet dachshund. The passerby asked him why a cowboy would own that kind of dog. The cowboy answered, “Well, somebody told me to get along little doggie.”
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A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered, with his thumb over the meat. “Are you CRAZY?!” yelled the customer. “Don’t bring my meal with your hand on my steak!” “What!” answers the waiter. “You want it to fall on the floor again?”
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A drunk guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “About 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later the guy comes back in and asks, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “I already said that they are about 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later he comes back in and says, “How big did you…
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A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt. At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, the president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story: On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit…
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This is a story of an Italian guy when he visits Toronto. You have to speak in an Italian accent to make this jokes more effective! One daya I go to Toronto and stay in bigga hotel. I go down to eat soma breakfast, I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bringa me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet, I say you no understand, I wanna two piss…
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A guy walks into a bar and notices an old friend of his seated miserably in the corner. He orders a drink and strolls over to ask his pal what is wrong. “I’ve just found out that mobile phones give you cancer.” Rather bewildered, our man asks why such a superstitious theory could upset him so much. “Well,” replies the man once again. “I’ve just bought one with the money I’ve saved from giving up smoking!”
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A big-city, California, lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property,…
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