Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A group of friends, who prided themselves on their intelligence, set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer, the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong, he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually, the matter boiled down to Jason and Dean, and the erudition of each one boiled…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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Dave had tried to be particularly careful about his language, as he played golf with his preacher. But on the twelfth hole, when he twice failed to hit out of a sand trap, he lost his resolve and let fly with a string of expletives. The preacher felt obliged to respond. “I have observed,” he said, in a calm voice, “that the best golfers do not use foul language.” “I guess not,” said Dave. “What the hell do they have…
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This cowboy wants to go into the calf business but needed a bull to get things started. He calls up his banker and the banker floats him a loan. Around 6 weeks later, the banker calls the cowboy back and asks him how the bull is performing. Well the cowboy replies that the bull could be a dud and the banker told him to get the vet out there pronto to see if he could the bull to start producing.…
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A businessman was talking with his barber, when they both noticed a goofy-looking fellow bouncing down the sidewalk. The barber whispered, “That’s Tommy, one of the stupidest kids you’ll ever meet. Here, I’ll show you.” “Hey Tommy! Come here!” yelled the barber. Tommy came bouncing over. “Hi Mr. Williams!” The barber pulled out a rusty dime and a shiny quarter and told Tommy he could keep the one of his choice. Tommy looked long and hard at the dime and…
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During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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Three men were driving through the country when their truck broke down. It was bad weather and they had no place to go. Of course the farmer came along and said they could spend the night with him under one condition. He had a son who had no ears and got very upset if anything was said about it. Later that evening at dinner one of the men kept staring at the boy. The boy, getting upset, asks “What are…
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One fellow walks up to another and says “Say, how are you doing?” The other chap says “Geez, I’m really tired”. The other man says, “Really, how come?” “Well, my girlfriend and I agreed that we won’t go to bed angry at each other”. The other chap says “so?” “…I’ve been up since Tuesday”….”
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Two golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman runs across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear. One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, “What the hell is going on?” The old guy says, “She’s a nymphomaniac from an asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and us…
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