Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, “Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!” Ralph looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there.” Mary cried, “If my husband catches us in here,…
(0)
Loading...
1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
(1)Loading...
Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called “the world.” The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear… …so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water. There now, feeling better?
(0)Loading...
After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided to conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills (or lack thereof), he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man announced that he was there to apply for the bellringer’s job. The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!” “No matter,”…
(0)Loading...
Jeffery was a maintenance man for a big-time broadway production company. He was the guy who went around sweeping the floors after hours. One day, though, Jeffery was approached by one of the big time directors, a man dressed all in black, with a megaphone hung limply in his left arm. “Jeffery,” he said, “I have some news for you. We’re putting on a gigantic production about the Civil War tomorrow. One of my men came down with the flu…
(0)Loading...
These are 10 different ways of knowing that your kid is too old for breast freeding. 10. He can open the blouse himself. 9. While sucking one breast he caresses the other one. 8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. He uses the milk as a creamer for his coffee. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each feeding he has…
(0)Loading...
An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it.” “Well, uh,” said the doctor, “do you have much sex…
(1)Loading...
As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties and company picnics. Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him wasn’t working, so he used a different tactic. Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in the eye and said, “Mister, I get paid to dress up and make a fool of myself–what’s your excuse? He said not another word!
(0)Loading...
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?” The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the…
(0)Loading...
Once upon a time there was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body (it’s a man thing), when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. He promptly went to the beach, completely undressed, and buried himself in the sand,…
(0)Loading...