Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter, then started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me, Irving?” She answered herself by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!” She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?” She answered again, saying,…
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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hellofalot cheaper than a doctor.”…
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A teacher once stood up and said to her class, “Anyone who thinks that they are stupid, please stand up.” No one stood up for a few seconds and then in the back of the room, little Jimmy rose. “Jimmy, why do you think you are stupid?” The teacher asked. Jimmy quickly replied, “Oh I don’t think that, I just didn’t want you standing up there by yourself!”
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1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. 2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? 3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head? 4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won’t cash my welfare check! 5. We’re going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. 6. Those home pregnancy kits aren’t very reliable in my opinion.…
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Desperately seeking technical support: I’m currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some problems. I’ve been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 for years as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies won’t crash if you minimize Girlfriend with the sound off, but since I can’t find the switch to turn it off, I just run them separately and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to…
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~~~~ My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So leave a message. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid…
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There was this construction worker on the 7th floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself. He tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get one for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eye (meaning “I”) then pointed…
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The old lady called the police complaining of an indecent exposure! When the police arrived, she said: The man across the street is always walking around his house naked! Exposing his genitalia and everything! The Officer takes a look and says: Madam! All I can see of him is his neck and his head! He is not exposing himself! NO! Stand atop the fridge and you’ll see!
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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Everyone knows of the Chunnel running from England to France, but does everyone know this story? Four people got on the Chunnel: One was a young woman, who looked exactly like one of the models from fashion magazine. The next was a very old very rich woman, then a decorated Sergeant Major. Last but not least was a Private, fresh out of boot camp. The four got talking and all of a sudden the lights went out, there was the…
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