Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Shortly after that they…
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A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline, and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful, young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” says his Advisor, “in her biology class.”
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Q What did the grape say when the elephant accidently stepped on him? A Nothing he just let out a little wine!
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Your mama is so fat: :When she hauls ass she has to make two trips. :When she dances she makes the band skip. :When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live. :She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (
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The following are two of the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest: “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said…
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A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: “Yes, Mother, I’ve had a hard day. Mary-Louise has been quite difficult…Yes, I know I ought to be more firm with her, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is… Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was hard to get along with and would make my life miserable, and you warned me not to marry her. Oh, how right you were…
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Three men – an Engineer, an Artist and Bill Clinton – go on safari when a huge elephant ambles out of the bush. The Engineer looks at the animal and thinks: “What a powerful beast, if only my employees could come up with something as efficient as that”. The Artist thinks: “If only we could catch him, we could make lots of beautiful things with his hide.” And Bill Clinton thinks: “I wonder what the elephant thinks of me!”
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Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a timeout. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. The…
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If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…
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