Elderly wife Jokes - page 3

Memory Clinic

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding!” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great!” “That’s wonderful. And what was the name of that clinic? Maybe I should go.” Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile lit up his face, and he asked, “What do you…

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Early call

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few more drinks and went happily to bed. At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. “Is this the vet?” asked an elderly lady’s voice. “Yes, it is”, replied the vet, “Is this an emergency?” “Well, sort of”,…

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Read JokeEarly call

A warning from the judge

The Old Witness A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial — a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You…

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Read JokeA warning from the judge

Look Again

An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex.” “But you’re not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist. “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

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Joining a new church

A newlywed, a middle-aged and an elderly couple are interested in joining a new church. When they meet with their potential Pastor, he tells them that in order to join the church they would have to remain chaste for the next two weeks. Two weeks later, the three couples return to meet with the Pastor. He asks the elderly couple, “Did you remain chaste over the two weeks?” The husband replies, “Well, we really didn’t have too much of a…

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Read JokeJoining a new church