Ear ache Jokes - page 23

God commissions St. Peter

After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. “Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?” God asked. “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There’s drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it. A regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex.…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeGod commissions St. Peter

THE JANITOR

Bill Holbrook, the janitor at the wealthiest church in town, ordered some cleaning supplies from the hardware store. When they arrived, the driver asked Bill to sign for them. Bill went into the pastor’s office and asked the pastor to sign for them. Puzzled, the pastor told Bill to sign for them. “I can’t,” said Bill. “I can’t read or write.” “Well,” replied the pastor, “I’m going to have to let you go, Bill. I’m sorry but we can’t have…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTHE JANITOR

Call the Police!

The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken back by this recent incident. Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on all channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. The K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a tight leash. The woman ran out…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCall the Police!

GATOR WRASSLIN’

In the everglades of Florida, there is an alligator wrestling demonstration going on. The guy is doing his thing with the alligator, the normal stuff you would see like opening the gator’s mouth and placing his inside, putting the gator in a headlock, flipping the gator, etc… Once he is done with this, he turns to the crowd and drops his pants and his underwear. He then reaches into a small wading pool next to him and pulls out a…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGATOR WRASSLIN’

Little Johnny in Sunday School

One day at Sunday school, the teacher was asking the children where Jesus lives. The teacher called on one of the kids who replied, “Jesus lives in my heart.” “Very good.” said the teacher. She calls on another kid. “Jesus lives in Heaven.” “Very good,” said the teacher. Little Johnny is in the back of the room waving his hand to be called on. The teacher didn’t want to call on Johnny, but does anyway. “Jesus lives in the bathroom,”…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeLittle Johnny in Sunday School

Airline Anecdotes

I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeAirline Anecdotes

The Funeral Procession

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were about 200 women walking in a single file. The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity any longer. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe Funeral Procession

Kid’s Bible Stories

The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeKid’s Bible Stories

Late for Funeral

A newly appointed young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a graveside committal service at a small country cemetery in the Ozarks… There was to be no funeral, just the committal, because the deceased had no family or friends left in town. The young pastor started early to the cemetery, but soon lost his way. After making several wrong turns, he finally arrived a half-hour late. The hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeLate for Funeral

He carries it….

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went: step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHe carries it….