E mail Jokes - page 10

Saving Postage

One day Mother sent my little brother to the post office to mail a letter. A few minutes later, he came back with a suspicious smile on his face. “What happened?” my mother asked. “I just fooled the people at the post office. When no one was looking, I dropped the letter into the box without buying any stamps.”

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A Contest Between Jesus and Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.” So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports.…

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Read JokeA Contest Between Jesus and Satan

Too Much of the 90’s

TOP 20 THINGS THAT SHOW YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90’S 20. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. 19. Your reason for not staying in touch with family members is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 18. Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN’s homepage to your bookmarks. 17. You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents. 16. Pick up lines now include…

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The Occupational Explanation

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?” Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.” “That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?” Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.” “Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?” Billy proudly stood up & announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”…

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Read JokeThe Occupational Explanation

A Programmer & A Engineer

A Programmer and an Engineer A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun.…

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Read JokeA Programmer & A Engineer

HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of iNSaNiTy ….

…. AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them…

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Read JokeHoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of iNSaNiTy ….

Rules Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 2.Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down. 3.Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again! 4.Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. 5.Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 6.Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just…

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Read JokeRules Guys Wish Girls Knew

You know the 90’s are almost over when…

1. Everyone used to joke about a Starbucks on every corner, and now there is a Starbucks on every corner. 2. People mark December 31st on their calendar as “The End of the World.” 3. Gen-Xers trade their futons in for orthopedic support mattresses. 4. You realize a big family is inefficient and decide to downsize. 5. HBO introduces it’s new channel: HBO Pi – The channel that never repeats. 6. Movie promos brag, “Funniest Movie of the Millenium.” 7.…

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Read JokeYou know the 90’s are almost over when…

Scouting in Canada

Dear Mom and Dad, Our scout master told us to write our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it all happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I…

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Read JokeScouting in Canada