Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This was on The Tonight Show September 7, 1999 Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The following won. She said it was snowing and cold and the guy took her skiing. It was just a day trip. They had never been out together before. The day went OK until they were coming back that afternoon. They were driving home and she suddenly had to pee urgently, but still…
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Four guys are driving cross country together — one from Idaho, one from Iowa, one from Florida, and the last one is from New York. A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, “What the heck are you doing?” The man from Idaho says, “We have so many of these darned things in Idaho. I’m sick of…
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There were 3 friends: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They went on a trip by car. They were driving along when their car broke down. They decided to camp out. The brunette said, “I’ll get the sleeping bags so we don’t have to sleep on the hard, dirty ground.” The redhead said, “I’ll get the cantines so when we get thirsty we’ll have water near.” The blonde said, “Well, I’ll take the door off the car so when…
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There was a cop that had pulled a man over when he appeared to be drinking and driving. The cop told him that he was going to have to take a breathalyzer test and the man replied “I can’t do that, I have asthma and can’t hardly breath anyway. The cop said “Well, I guess we will have to go down to the station and get some blood drawn”. The man said “No, I can’t do that, I am anemia…
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Judi was driving home one night when she was caught in a bad hail storm. The stones were as big as golf balls. Her car was dented pretty bad. Balking at the price to fix it, Judi was told by the repair shop guy, a smartass by trade, (noticing her bright blonde hair) to blow into the tailpipe REAL HARD when she got home, the dents would pop out. When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe,…
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When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in. Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should…
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A man is driving home late one night and is feeling very horny. (So, how is this different than any other time a man is driving? — Ray) Anyway, as he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles. He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts…
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10. I’d get to see what my paycheck looks like. 9. I’d get to see what my credit cards look like. 8. I’d remember what an erection looks like. 7. Bachelors don’t have Mother-in-laws. 6. I could use my own name at hotels. 5. I wouldn’t have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere. 4. You can see other women better when you don’t have to look out the corner of your eye. 3. When asked his…
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A young, lonely guy driving across the country decided to pick up a stunning, blonde hitchhiker. A few miles into the trek, the blonde started coming onto him, so needless to say, he pulled over to the side of the desolate, deserted road so she could give him some oral pleasure. Once his pants were down around his ankles, the blonde surprised him with a gun and bound his wrists to his ankles. Then, she robbed him of his wallet…
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GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS: 1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location. 2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. 3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better…
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