Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Listening one day to my friend speak of the painful DIVORCE that he and his wife are going through and the custody battle over the children. I told him, “That must be one of the hardest decisions to make. My wife and I will never have that problem.” “Why is that?” he asked. “Because we will never get divorced.” “How do you know?” “Because neither one of us wants custody of the kids.”
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My husband’s job as theater manager puts him in daily contact with mischievous and runaway children. So, during the holiday rush when a boisterous two-year-old sped by us in a crowded department store, his arm reached down and automatically fielded the child. He led the tot back to his mother, who, instead of being grateful, gave my husband a look of utter disgust. “Look, wise guy,” she said, acidly, “did you have to catch him so fast?”
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The new Halloween costume is Monica Lewinsky. It comes with a blue dress, mayonnaise, a cigar, a beret, and the official White House kneepads.
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Years ago, a united Airlines flight at Denver’s old Stapleton International Airport was canceled. As a harried United agent was re-booking the inconvenienced passengers on other flights, an angry primmadonna flier pushed his way to the front of the line, slapped his ticket down on the counter and exclaimed, “I MUST be on THIS flight, and it must be FIRST CLASS!” The agent was polite and apologized for the inconvenience the passenger was experiencing, but said that to be fair,…
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The following are two of the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest: “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving *right now*, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said…
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QUESTION: What do electric train sets and women’s breasts have in commong? ANSWER: Both were intended for children, but it’s the father who plays with them.
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up. “That’s Old Chief Forget-Me-Not,” whispers the man behind the desk reverently, “he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation.” “Why…
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It’s a shame that Bill has caused so many changes in the White House. The latest being that “Hail to the Chief” won’t be played anymore to honor him as President. Seems Bill prefers “Devil with a Blue Dress on.”
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EuroEnglish The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants…
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