Dr dre Jokes - page 20

Buccaneers

A little boy was dressed up for Halloween as a pirate. When he knocked on the door, a man came holding candy. The little boy said with a lisp, “I’m a piwate, can you tell, can you tell?” The man said, “Yes, but where are your buccaneers?” The boy replied, “They’re on my buckin’ head, open your buckin’ eyes!”

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Clinton mounts operation in Serbia

Editor-looks like this one hasn’t reached you yet ___________________________ Clintons Operation Vowel Drop CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO SERBIA and BOSNIA Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Yugoslavia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless…

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THE CURE

Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative. His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him. After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office. “Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to…

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Three Little Words

A fellow was joined at the bar by a beautiful woman who soon approached the man with an offer. “I’ll make your dreams come true,” she whispered, “for a hundred and fifty dollars.” “That’s a lot of money,” the guy pointed out, admiring her voluptuous body. “I’m worth it,” she assured him breathily. “For a hundred and fifty dollars, I’ll act out any fantasy. In fact, I can make any three words come true. Just dream them up, baby.” Any…

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Better Not Buy That !

A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually went. She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest. “How much is it?” she asked.…

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Two nuns

Two nuns were walking down the alley. The first was fond of mathematics and the second one was fond of logic. They noticed that a man was following them and it was obvious, that he had bad intentions. The first nun, being fond of math, told the other one: “If we continue walking at this pace, he will catch us in —– minutes.” But the second nun thought logically and said: “If we go in different directions, he will go…

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A Jewish Dilemma

A Jewish girl came home one day and said, “Ma, I got married.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab.” Her mother said, “Oy, that’s not so great.” The girl said, “But Ma, he’s an Arab sheik. He’s wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of your lives.” Six months later the Jewish girl walked into the house and said,…

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Baby Names

A man and woman marry after a brief courtship and all is well for a time. Eventually they are blessed with child. The woman’s time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls the husband over. “Honey, there’s something I really have to tell you. There is as an very old tradition in our families that the oldest living male gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother…

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Snow White & The Dwarfs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were roaming in the forest when they came across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decided to take a bath, so she told the Dwarfs to turn around while she was undressing to take the bath. The dwarfs protested vehemently, so she relented and said that when they heard the splash, they could turn around. Snow White undressed and as she was about to jump into water, she was startled by…

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piano player

A young man was sitting in a coffee bar enjoying a Don Pedro. He noticed the piano player sitting down to play a few numbers. As the piano player sat down, he couldn’t help noticing the piano players testicles hanging over the edge of the seat. The young man ignored this and continued enjoying his drink. As the night progressed, the young man got more and more irratated with this situation, he eventually got up and addressed the piano player.…

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