Dow Jokes - page 96

Fall TV Schedule

Thursday’s Schedule for the new Fall Television season: NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30 Girlfriends 9:00 One Guy with Several Female Friends 9:30 My Gay Friends FOX 8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain 8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape 9:00 Jiggle It Beach 9:30 LA Chicks 10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode UPN 8:00 The Unwatchables 8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings 9:00 Theoretically Existing Show 9:30 Praying For Syndication 10:00 The Last Thing You’d Ever Want To…

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man in a bar

One day a guy walks into a bar sits down and orders two shots of scotch. He drinks the shots pulls a picture out of his pocket and says, “Bar tender, two more shots please!” He drinks the shots and again pulls the picture out of his pocket. “Bar tender, two more shots please!” The Bar tender asks him, “Why do you keep ordering two shots and then look at the picture in your pocket?” “The picture is of my…

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The manhole

There was a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover saying “49, 49, 49, 49!” A dumb blond walks up to him and asks, “What are you doing?” He says, “I’m exercising.” She asks, “Can I try?” “Sure.” She gets on the manhole and does the same thing. “49, 49, 49, 49!” The man reaches under her and SNATCHES the cover out from under her, she falls in. He puts the cover back on and jumps up and…

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How Sex is Like Riding a Bicycle

1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere. 2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory. 3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience. 4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience. 5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun. 6. It’s usually hard…

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It’s a Lawyer Joke

There was once a truck driver who would amuse himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer, he would swerve to hit him, there would be a loud “THUD”, and then he’d swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. The driver thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over. “Where are you…

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Oh Whoops

An airoplane is about to crash land. The pilot yells over the intercom to the passengers to throw something out the window so that the crash won’t be as bad. A young irish blonde throws out a case o whisky, a big english bloke lobs out a case o cigs and an Iraq phsyco throws out a bomb. Five minutes later a women is walking along a street. She see’s a little girl crying. “What’s the matter dear?” she asks.…

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‘Man on the Street’ Reporter

These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker. A reporter comes running up and says, “Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?” The Saudi says, “Excuse me, what’s a shortage?” The Russian says, “Excuse me, what’s meat?” The North Korean says, “Excuse me, what’s an opinion?” The New Yorker, says, “Excuse me? What’s ‘excuse me’?”

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Read Joke‘Man on the Street’ Reporter

Fuckhauer

It was the first day of school, and the elementary school teacher was establishing the fact that she’d take no nonsense from the kiddies this year.While taking the roll, she was told by one boy “My name is Johnny Fuckhauer”. So she said “There’ll be none of that kind of thing this year, Johnny, tell me your REAL name!”. The kid said “No, really teacher, it IS Johnny Fuckhauer. You can go across the hall to fourth grade and ask…

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Joke on the Boss

At the annual company Christmas party, the staff decided to play a practical joke on their boss. When he went to the restroom, they (with his wife) went through his coat pockets and found his LOTTO ticket. Then they wrote down his numbers and called the waitress over to set up a little prank. She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night’s winning LOTTO numbers. She then proceeded to read them out…

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