Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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T’was the night before Chrismas – Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – whad do i hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudoph got drunk and goosed all the…
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IN THE BEGINNING In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light! #Enter user id. %God #Enter password. %Omniscient #Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent #Password incorrect. Try again. %Technocrat #And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light! #Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light #Done %Run heaven and earth #And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. #And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday,…
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Just recently I was sitting down to dinner with my family one night and we were talking about nuclear warfare (for some reason). So Dad told us about the man who stands behind the President and is handcuffed to a suitcase. Dad asked me, “So what do you think is in that suitcase that could be so important?” I said, “Condoms?!”
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This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to take a sip and when he does this little 12 inch man runs down his arm and kicks over his drink. The man orders another and the same thing happens. So after a couple more times the bartender asks what’s with the little guy? The man replies i wished for a 12 inch prick and this is what i got!
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A man was on an airplane, watching the movie, and hated it. So he walked out on it. After plunging to the sea, he swam to a deserted island. He lived there for 10 years, with no human contact, no companionship. One day, he was looking out at the lagoon, and saw someone in SCUBA gear swim out of it. The man could see is was a strikingly beautiful woman. She looked at him, licked her pouty lips, and asked,…
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Once there was a man who bought a guitar. He went down the street and played it for a dog, and the dog died. He walked further down the street and stopped to play for a cat, and the cat fell over and died. So the man hung up his guitar afraid that if he played it for himself he would die. About a week later he sees an ad in the paper that reads, ‘angry bull, reward for the…
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In the Garden of Eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve, Without any clothes. In this garden, Were two little leaves, One covered Adam’s, One covered Eve’s. As the story goes on, Nevertheless to say, The wind came along, And blew the leaves away. At the sight, Adam did stare, There was Eve’s treasure, All covered with hair. And wonder came, Under Eve’s eyes, As Adam’s thing, Started to rise. They found a spot, That suited them best, A…
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“A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse spoke the actor dramatically from the stage. “Would a jackass do?” called out a heckler in the balcony. “Why yes,” said the actor. “Come on down.”
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A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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