Dow Jokes - page 77

Stork Difference

On his first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged stork for a long time. He waved, jumped up and down and stared at the stork awhile longer. Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, “Gee, Dad, he doesn’t even recognize me!”

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‘While you’ve been away…’

Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…

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Selling Bibles

One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…

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Quiet

A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said “Stay here and be very quiet. I’ll be across the field.” A little while later the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son asking, “What’s wrong? I told you to be quiet.” The son answered, “Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks…

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Pick-Up Mishap

Two guys are sitting at a table in a bar checking out the ladies. They are talking about how the second guy can never seem to pick up any women, so the first guy decides to show him how. “Watch,” he says. I’ll go pick up some women, you watch and learn. “Ok,” says the second guy. The first guy slides up next to a pretty young blonde woman at the bar. He says, “Tickle your ass with a feather?”…

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Asshole Stretcher

A man was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge when he was pulled over by an officer. The office comes up to the man’s window and says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?” The man replies, “Obviously over 55.” The officer was checking out the man and his car when he says, “What the hell is a bum looking guy like you doing driving a fancy, expensive car like this? What do you do…

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Eskimo and Wife

This eskimo and his wife are laying in bed when he says” Honey lets go fishing ” And she says” No I don’t want to go fishing. He says ” sure you do” She says “no I don’t want to go fishing I’m not going” and finally he says ” I’ll tell you what I’ll give you 3 choices you can give me a blow job,take it up the ass or go fishing. I’m going to get the dogs ready…

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