Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
T’was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear The old lady bitches cause I work late at night The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the…
(0)
Loading...
“I Suck at My Job” “What Really Goes Down in the White House” “How I Blew It in the White House” “Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President” “Clear and Present Boner” “Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule” “Going Back for Gore” “Podium Girl” “Secret Services to the President” “The Congressional Sutdy on White House Intern Positions” “Al Gore is in Command for the Next 30 Minutes” “How to Beat Off the Government” “Going Down and…
(0)Loading...
Two priests were done for the day and decided to head for the showers. When they got in they realized neither one had brought soap, so one of them says, “I’ll be alright to go out in the hall naked just to get some soap”, so out he goes and is on his way back with 2 bars of soap when 3 nuns come walking down the hall. The priest froze and pretended he was a statue, with the bars…
(0)Loading...
A guy walks into a bar with his pet octopus under his arm. The bar is halving a “folk music” night, so most people have brought along their musical instruments. The guy with the octopus makes an announcement, “I bet $200 my octopus can play ANY musical instrument you offer him!” Straight away, this guy walks up with an acoustic guitar and hands it to the octopus. The octopus grabs the guitar and rips into a flawless display of Flamenco…
(0)Loading...
1. Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING. 2. Pronounce all one syllable words with two. 3. When giving directions, finish with “it’s right down yonder on the left.” 4. Talk REALLY slowly, and ask them to speak slower so you can understand what they’re saying. 5. When they talk about how great it is up north, tell them “Delta’s ready when you are.” 6. Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball. 7. Refer to every…
(3)Loading...
These epitaphs were taken from actual tombstones: On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: “Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young.” In a London, England cemetery: “Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid, But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767” In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: “The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.”…
(1)Loading...
Well it came to pass, that the richest man in the world had finally expired. Bill Gates shows up one fine heavenly day at the Pearly Gates and beckons on St. Peter… ST. PETE: “Well Mr. Gates, it appears there has been a mistake here, I don’t see your name on the list. BILL: “Are you sure, search again” ST. PETE:” OK, let’s see, theres, Jobs, Woz, Ellison, Clark, NOPE! No Gates!” “Sorry, Mr. Gates but unfortunately money can’t buy…
(0)Loading...
Guyness Quiz Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: a.…
(0)Loading...
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
(1)Loading...
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.…
(1)Loading...