Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Classroom scene: The teacher walks into her fifth grade class and says: “OK children, today we will not use the textbook.” All the children were happy, especially those who didn’t get their homework done. Teacher goes on to say, “Today we will be talking about colours, and we will use our imagination to talk about colours. Can anyone tell me a story about colours?” An Irish boy raises his hand and starts “My daddy is a policeman and he wears…
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say, “uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Dang, this water’s cold.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh crap! My glass eye!” 6. Say, “Hmmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud…
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During a staff meeting on the last working day of 1999, a manager was discussing the company’s preparedness for the Y2K roll-over. Worried that the company’s computers may fail when the year becomes 2000, the manager is requiring every engineer to report to work on first day of January to make sure the computers will not go crazy. His blonde secretary, who was taking down the minutes of the meeting, suddenly raised her hand excitedly and asked if she could…
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At the beginning of the children’s sermon, one little girl came up to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children are sitting down around the pastor, the pastor leans over and says to the little girl, “That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The girl replies almost directly into the pastor’s clip-on mike, “Yes…and my Mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”
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Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Patti, called the insurance company. Patti spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa, there, just a minute! Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.” There was a long pause, and then Patti replied, “If…
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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touchdown and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitor’s favor, the home quarterback finally blew his top. “How many times can you do this to us in a single game?” he screamed. “You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you…
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Two blondes walk into a bar. They sit down order drinks and start chanting 180 days 180 days. A couple minutes later two more blondes walk into the bar sit down and order drinks. then they start chanting 180 days 180 days. The bartender asks whats this 180 days? One blonde says we did a puzzle and the box said 3 years and up and we did it in 180 days.
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A young boy is riding his new bike down the street on Christmas morning. A polieman on a horse says to the boy, “Did Santa bring you that bike?” The boy says,”Yes he did.” the officer then pulls out a ticket and says to the boy, ” Next time tell Santa to put reflectors on that bike.” He then gives the boy the ticket. The boy asks the cop, “Did santa bring you that horse?” going along with the child…
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Julius and Irving, two very religious Jewish men, visited Marcus Pinkus the tailor to have new black suits made. When they went to pick up the suits, Julius looked at his suit very carefully; held it up to the light, walked over to the window and examined it more carefully and then proclaimed, “Marcus, this suit is navy blue. It’s not black!” “Trust me,” said Marcus, “it’s black!” “Irving, what do you think? Blue, or black?” asked Julius. “To tell…
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An atheist was hunting one day in a deep woods and while spotting a deer he took aim but his gun jammed. Hearing a noise behind him he turned to see a ferocious Grizzly drooling and growling as it approached him. He immediately fell to the ground and re-thinking his beliefs he called out: “GOD, if you exist, please… take this bear away! He then heard a voice from above. “You of all people want my help? You denied me…
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