Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
” Yeah, whatever..” ” It’s your stomach..” ” Would you like that cooked?”.. ” How much salt is TOO much?..” ” If your order is hot, then consider it a gift..” ” You don’t actually think I’m listening, do you?”.. ” Don’t mind the open sore on my lip when you get to the window”.. ” I’m just getting over Hepatitus”.. ” I have to pee, can you hold on a minute?..
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…. AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE: At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them…
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There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…
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God: And remember Moshe, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel, Moshe (Moses): Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together. G: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. M: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our…
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Little Johnny is walking down the laneway one morning with something cupped in his hands. An old farmer sitting on the porch sees him coming and wonders what he is up to. “Hey little Johnny, whatcha got there in your hands?” Johnny replies, “Got me a bullfrog…goin to town to get me a bull.” The old farmer just chuckles. A short while later, here comes Johnny leading a bull. The old farmer scratches his head in amazement. Next day, here…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…
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One day two guys in a truck were driving down the road and their were 2 Amish men behind them. The passenger of the truck says, “I gotta take a crap.” The driver says, “You just did back at the truck stop!” The passenger sticks his butt out the window and takes a crap! The crap lands on one of the Amish men. The other one said, “What kind of chewing tobacco did that guy spit on you?” He said,…
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Things Not To Say To The Nice Police Officer 1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. 2. Sorry, I didn’t realize that my radar detector wasn’t on. 3. Aren’t you the guy from the village people? 4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me. 5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop. 6. Bad cop! No donut! 7. You’re gonna check the trunk,…
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Two natural gas company service personnel, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of an alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. When they finished, the senior supervisor, proud of his physical condition, challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race…
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